Oslo Norway...first impressions

    "Are you afraid of your clothes?"

The flight to Oslo was superb. I didn't get a proper photo of the stewardesses (see: shite camera), but they were wearing red and black, with black leather gloves and they were tall and blond. So My first impression was: I was on a flight to "Hell" *(note for later), and that Hell* was filled with Über hot chics...which I think is prolly a given anyway.

Upon taxiing out onto the runway, we were shown a highly detailed digitally animated film of safety protocols in which everyone in the film was smiling, blue eyed,  and blond. I became anxious about being denied entry when I landed on the other side...due to my lack of blondness...stealthily, I pulled out a 'Naples yellow' pencil crayon and altered my passport photo.

 The ladies in the seat across for me looked to be of the lovely Indian persuasion...they were pointing at my nose ring and giggling...Prolly saying something about my apparent lack of goats or a husband...but I hope they are not too worried about me. I will be ok.

The flight was interesting for me as always...

We flew over the North Sea and I got a good look at about 10 of those oil rig things with the flame coming out the top...quite something...HUGE. Like petroleum filled metal islands in a vast perhaps...connected to the ocean floor by some weird techi-umbilicus. Ahhh western civilization. mmmmm oilrotic.

 So the sun didn't really set until I got to Oslo. The air port is small, but very tidy with an interesting design...My camera was out of juice so I didn't get many photos...too bad, cause the Oslo airport is very nice. Also, the minute I got off the plane I realized just how rad this place is. Everyone is so beautiful here. They move less hurriedly,  and they smile a lot more...hot. Smiling is hot.


 I was slipping in my own drool. Which is quite dangerous due to the concrete floors in the airport.


Tor met me at the airport, and we then took the über cool space age stainless steel train of awesomeness to greater Oslo, where we jamped (past tense of jump) off and wandered the streets back to Sverdrups Gate, where Tor has a 'Splendid' apartment.  He shares this apartment with two awesome brothers:

Bjørn and Rolf.

Naturally, when a new person arrives...much like a birth...in Norway people want to celebrate with booze and food... so we do....and it's a crazy piss-up. Bjørn, Rolf, and Tor are all very funny humans. We drank "Aquavit" aka "water of life"...and got smashed. The party masks came out, and much merriment occurred. At one point I put on a crash helmet and Bjørn suggested I put the blast shield down. I concurred, and with that he fired a kiwi at my head at top speed....Kiwi ...Viking style!
The impact was probably quite intense as it set it seed everywhere...yet I remained unaffected by the blast.

There was an excessive amount of giggling ad pants peeing and snickering.
 Then Rolf exclaimed "Are you afraid of your clothes?!!!!"...everyone looks confused and there was a moment of deep uncertainty..especially on Tor's face....Rolf lifted his fist and smashed it down on the table. HARD....there was an explosion of liquid, and when the smoke had cleared...the skin of a freshly pressed tomato remained...I laughed so hard at his statement that I was holding my sides on the floor with tears coming out of my eyes.

I guess "Are you afraid of your clothes?" Means "Are you afraid of getting shit on your clothes?"



...."Are you afraid of your clothes?!!!"

We laughed awful amounts at this...and it became my Norwegian anthem.

Here is Rolf drinking shots through his gas mask.

 



Bjørn enjoying Tor's FLASH

So this is Bjørn's black metal style mask...which is the only remotely Emo/black metal thing I have

Here's Tor in a saucy little number which helps with all his bank robbing exploits.





















 So yes....so far fun...but sleep happens....and next will be OSLO!